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      Assertiveness and self esteem

Massimo Brizzi has been an Ottantaventi partner since 1992. 

He works in Italy for companies of National and International importance and participates in International training
projects.

Self esteem is the opinion that we have of ourselves and it influences all communication processes.

It’s represented by our awareness of our own value, which everyone of us achieves thanks to a mix of objective results (e.g. “2006 best sales performer”), of subjective evaluations (e.g. “I am actually a good salesman”) and of others’ feedback (e.g. “You put up a bad show during the meeting!”)

What are the positive effects of a high level of self esteem? One of the most important effects is that we are able to establish, both in our work and in our private lives, an assertive communication style: for instance we are able to express our point of view, without giving rise to polemic, aggressive or prevaricator positions of other people.

What are the negative effects of low self esteem?

Shyness, sense of inferiority, insecurity, fear of mistakes, failure to control emotions, difficulties in having good human relations and speaking in public, fear of being judged and negligence are all attitudes that block an assertive communication style and are largely due to low self esteem.

Especially in the working environment, low or high self esteem levels lead to effective or ineffective behaviour when we:

• take on our responsibilities in critical situations of management.
  
  For example, 
  Low level: “I’ll never be able to speak to all those people.”
  
  High level: “I must overcome my fear of speaking in public: could you suggest a good book or a useful course?”

• identify and evaluate our mistakes.
  
  For example, 
  Low level: “I’m really unlucky, I never manage to talk to the buyer from that company. ”
  
  High level: “Thanks to my recent calls I can see that I must change my behaviour with the receptionist in order to speak to the buyer”
  

• refuse, even if it’s the right response, it is important to avoid feeling guilty or uneasy
  
  For example,
  Low level: “Ok, I’ll try, but I’m not sure that I’ll be able to deliver the work on time”   
  
  High level: “Can we fix the deadline for the following week? Because next week I ‘ll be busy with the overseas project.”
  

• evaluate the advantages and disadvantages of a situation and express our point of view
  
  For example,
  Low level: “I don’t know what to say, I don’t have enough knowledge of the situation and even if I did, it would be difficult for me to give my opinion.”
  
  High level: “Taking into consideration all aspects of the situation, I think that……”

Improving our own self esteem means:

• learning to manage our own emotions
  

• acknowledging behaviour and psychological attitudes that cause low self esteem, in order to be able to correct them
  

• using assertive attitudes that allow us to obtain maximum results.
  
  

Improve assertiveness in your company,
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