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Communicating with assertiveness
 Massimo
Brizzi has been an Ottantaventi partner since 1992.
He works in Italy for companies of National and International importance
and participates in International training
projects.
The word “Communication” originates from etymon “cummunis”, which means
commonwealth. What’s the way that allows everyone involved in the communication to
gain advantages?
To achieve this goal it’s fundamental to develop various skills. Among those
assertiveness is very relevant.
Communicating in an assertive way means to be able to suggest our own point of view, avoiding to solicit polemical reactions or drawback positions in our interlocutors.
Communicating in an assertive way also means to be able to “manage situations with positive strength”.
Here it is a situation in which the communication has been assertive.
It’s the afternoon of the first warm day of the year. In the office the air conditioning is has been working for the last two hours. Someone is not satisfied about it.
Mark asks:
“Can we establish fixed working hours for the air conditioning to maintain a pleasant climate for everyone of us?
My need is to use it during the two hottest hours of the afternoon, when the sun is just in front of the windows.
What are your needs?”
This s an example of assertive communication. Mark communicates respecting
4 fundamental points of assertive communication:
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he states his own need;
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he declares it in a psychologically correct way
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he is available to take into consideration others’ need
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he
doesn’t stimulate the conflict.
Let’s see two situations describing a
“not assertive” communication attitude:
This is an example of an aggressive communication, because this person considers exclusively the first point of assertiveness, but he ignores the other three points. His goal is to achieve his own need and to protect his own right at any cost,
even risking to damage relationship with colleagues, customers, the partner, relatives and with the children.
“Turn on the air conditioning whenever you want, it doesn’t matter to me”.
This is an example of “passive” communication. In this case he acts as suggested by the two last points. However, the fear to determine conflicts and to get involved mentally and emotionally in discussions, makes him neglect the first two points, and
could make him feel defeated, eager and unsatisfied.
Develop your assertiveness, ask information on our Communication Courses
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